Moments, Mistakes & Memories....

I love you
You mean everything to me
And more
I love you
You're the only one I adore.
But I gotta know
Could you love me for me
Could you see past the mistakes?
Past my previous loneliness & heartache.
How much would it take?
I swear I told you once,
When I was all alone
In my warm little home.
That I'd prove to you I've changed
Make you call my name
Nothing was the same
You were always playing games
Making me go insane
Catching me off guard,
Not calling when you should.
All I know is I would
Do anything for you.
Anything you ask...
What slows me is
You're always busy.
I used to weep.
Now as I sleep.
I dream of you
And I keep
A picture of you in my mind.
Even when the sun don't shine.
You put a smile on my face.
Visions of you grabbing my waist.
It's been so long, you left me in this place.
Come home Baby, I wanna see your face.

Confessions...

At first, I admit I didn't know how to deal with you.
Felt like I had never been in a real relationship.
And believe me, I thought it was real with you.
The way you never were too far away.
I wondered if you knew, I was slowly going insane.
Unhappy with my life, crazy thoughts taking over my brain.
I loved you so much but I didn't know how to show it.
I guess you and me sometimes only knew how to be cold.
So instead of being that only one for you, I fell apart in front of you.
I became what I was running from, what I despised most.
Did things unimaginable for real reasons unknown.
I kept expecting you to save me, waiting and waiting, and waiting.
Leaving and running back to you not even sure if we were involved.
Certain things I love about you
And other things I just have to live with.
Always thinking of you, and then you went away and I was sad.
As time passed I came to realize, that space was what saved me.
I admit I went back to war a couple times
But I knew it wasn't the place for me.
I thought I'd never see you again,
I thought I lost you. I thought you hated me.
I almost hated you too, but how could I.
I never could have. Regardless.
You did somethings to me that hurt
And I probably did the same to you.
In the moment I didn't want to believe it,
I never thought it could be true.
I thought of you almost every day for a long time,
Dreamed of you too.
Now you're back and I don't know what to do.
I trust you, I really do. I love you.
I want us to be together but I'm worried.
I'm worried you won't take me seriously.
That you'll string me along.
I know I'm still growing.
Won't you grow with me.
I love you, stop holding yourself back.
Give me the energy to open up my heart to you.
Give me the time, always gotta go.
Always busy, you already know.
But Baby, I miss you do.
I'm down for you, let's go...
I wanna be your one and only
The last woman you'll ever fuck.
Let's do this.

Tell Me It's Real & That We'll Grow.

I Been Smokin' Green So You Could Call Me Your Royal Highness Boy You The Finest The Fucking Flyest I'm On Some "You Wanna Be Mine?" Shit...

February 2, 2012

Could it be wrong? But I want it. Could be right, if we rewrite it. The future is ours. Have you changed? Remember all the pain? It's over now. Tell me, are our flowers blooming again? They will be beautiful. Don't let the story end, Baby.

Patience (W24TN)

I should have told you
I missed your voice
I should have told you
I wanna hold you tight
I know we know it's been so long
& I know we know what we both did wrong
I'm wondering, waiting, thinking that my phone should ring
I have no idea what your up to, where you're at,
You tell me nothing, as a matter a' fact
& I still wonder.
Is this right?
Do you love me still?
What do you want?
Could this work?
Are you really down for me?
Will you call me today?
Are you close by my hood?
Do you know what's good?
Are you gonna come swoop me up.
You already know I don't give a fuck.
Baby, I'm down..
& I need you around.
You really do somethin' for me.
Never your last chance, but
Baby you're all I need.
You're more than good company.
Maybe it'll never work or maybe
I won't ever have to think twice.
♥

Best Present Ever ? (M30TN)

Best Present Ever?
More like a trial version...
With complications and
Holds and obligations
And my frustrations,
Didn't mean shit to you.
You didn't give a fuck.
Oh look at you. Taste of
my own mixture at it's finest.
I just hope you know...
You were once mine,
For a moment in time.
It all felt so right.
Having you close,
To me at night.
First nigga I went
Old school with.
Long kisses at 24.
Holding hands and
I once adored
Everything bout you,
Now I hate it.
Think your cold and
Crazy, happy Belated.
Got love for you still.
Think you fine as fuck.
You already know whats up.
Unfortunately you found her.
Left me be and an then another
Rediscovered me. And then another.
Where are the words to say.
It's cold how men and women play.
All in a day's work.
You chose her
And yeah it hurts.
For what it's worth...
You make me smile
& Used to ease the hurt.
1 Love and If Its 1 Life
Then friends who don't talk is aight....

♥ The Inside (The Heart....)

Anytime you need me I'll be there
Tell you fuck them hoez, I'm the one who cares.
Don't you ever stop doing what you do.
Chillin', Drinkin' There with your Crew.
On an off day, you wear the perfect shade of blue.
And to me, back then the underworld was all new.
So young, needed you more, people fuckin' with me too.
All I ever wanted was to be there, be good to you.
Lost you but look what you gained.
Similar to the cars and money and the fame.
You acquired the stature of a true gentlemen in the game.
Lookin' at you I see the young you, you know what I'm sayin'.
People grow, they make mistakes, could you forgive me?
For in this moment I almost feel like I have never known.
Never known, that it's not just something you take, it's given.
& I CAN honestly say, I'm not proud of the life I used to be living.
Please don't stop. Just do what you do best.
& When the ones you can't trust come around, put em' to test.
I understand babe, I really do. I'm sorry. I hope you're sorry too.
All the shit he put me through, led me to - rediscover you.
Scared of you cause I'm ashamed of my past.
I hope every bitch you been with, It didn't last.
& If she ain't right, you better get from her, fast.
I know its been a long time coming but
All those other guys were practise
Constantly thirsty, making passes.
If you the teacher, I'm takin' classes.
Cause I'm really interested, on how...
How you plan to change the world for the better.
Rollin' round with that well known label on your sweater.
If I ever run into you, I hope you know, you better forget her.
All I can say is I'm really into you & I can't let it go.
I loved how we took it fast but yet so slow.
People change preferences over time, no shame.
& To choose her over me is lame.
But I hope you take this letter...
That is supposed to resurface the memories of the past.
The feeling and the moments, oh how I wish it would last.
Cause you're so far from me, I may never see you.
So I hope you take this letter...
& Understand the magnitude of my apology.
Ride or Die for life, but only for my Man.
You were that man. So holla... if they don't do it like me.
This is from my heart, I hope my main point was obvious.
Maybe we're not meant for eachother but you must know.
How much I care about what's on the inside, babe.
The inside.....


(Random Freestyle Poem over Drake's "Girls Like Beyonce.")

Today's Drama

Tried to hard to make you see how you make me feel. I don't understand why you''re not receptive to it. I'm almost ready to give up. Then you make me forget all the bad and crush on you for the good. I wish I would, just bitch you out and tell you what's real. Tell you how I feel. I'm not supposed to give a fuck? That's how you act. Swear you're what I need and If I'm being selfish then God, please let it play out and disperse. I need this verse, to let you know... To open my mind. To free my complicated thoughts. It's been so long, you silenced me. Will I ever be the same again or have I just grown. I'm all alone, single... Only fucking you. What's good. Be real with me. Anyways, no one reads this shit so I gotta vent. I'll leave this for myself to reflect on later. Ciao for Now.

New Things

I'm gonna do how I feel.
Let's see if this works...

Taking a chance on love hurts, but feels good. I’m used to the sensation and the pain, it slows me but drives me.

Again

I'm Scared
I'ts Happening Again
I'm Loosing Focus
Boo You Dopeness
& I'm Wondering
How Could You Do Me Like That
I Gave It All To You
No Questions Asked
& Where Are We Now
Look What We Did
Look What You've Done
Look What I Did
You Fittin To Run
I'm Fittin To Say I Won
I Don't Wanna Ever Leave You
Or Make You Mad
Don't Go

Reactions...

How can we grow if you limit
The ways we interact to a certain setting.
Am I a fool for love?
Am I confused in love?
Do you even know what I think of?
I just hope as the earth warms
We grow closer and spend more time
Cause like you're always on my mind.
Well not always, but you know what I mean.
Oh if only you knew how I dream.
I'll be right here always ready to talk.
Say you'll think of me and won't stop.
Don't let go, no - not for a second in time.
Someday maybe you'll say you'll be mine.
I could just imagine you smiling,
Till the next time we meet.
Oh wouldn't it be sweet.
Anyways I'm just saying how I feel
I'm yours all day all night.
No one else compares, alright.
Hope that you truly know.
I wouldn't want to let you go.
I'll be with you babe,
Whether your high or low.
Emotions are emotions,
We eventually let them go.
I really want you to know
I have thing for you
& I just can't let it go.

Nothing Compares....

I sometimes wonder
Do you watch me
The way I watch you
Do you see me
Like how I see you
Are you curious about me
Like how I'm curious about you
Do you wonder
Like how I wonder
Do you dream
Look up at the stars
And the light beams
Do you contemplate
Like how I contemplate
You're smart
You're good looking
You've got it all
Happiness is a mindset
I just want to be free
Free from negativity
And wasted mind
I believe in you
That you can achieve anything
Like I said you have everything
But you don't have me
Or do you
I think you do
You got me
Got me good
I try and I try
But there's no denying
Your hold
I'm bold
I'll say it
I wish we would have waited
But what can we do
Do you love me cause I Love You.
Tell me if it's true
That you have feelings for me to
I just gotta know
& I do know
So should I just fall in line
When I've got you all in my mind
I'm trying to understand
How you got the upper hand
Maybe cause you're the man
& I'm the lady who doesn't want to share
Tryna be all you need cause no one else compare.

Deep Thoughts

For this moment in time I wonder. I wonder what you're up to and if you'll grow like how I grew. Or if I'll grow like how you grew. It truly amazes me to look at you because you're a creation, a beautiful creation. I sometimes wish on stars to find that certain person. I sometimes make other wishes for things to be as God wants them to be. It's hard for me to understand my past actions. I know these are things I cannot change and to come to terms I tell myself I was young, immature, naive, selfish, lonely, confused, sick, depressed, alone, scared and running. I had to grow out of those phases of my life. I have to tell myself I've grown to think differently, I can feel love now, I'm not as cold. I know now, that I know things. This is what I understand. Random.

A Thought

It's been a while
So much I want to say
But at the moment
I don't know how to say it
I think you know how I feel
Let's keep it that way
We can only grow closer
Time will tell